Today... today's run was "needed". And I'm not talking about "I have to get miles in", I'm talking about "I need a confidence boost.... I need to know I can still do this".
It sounds silly I know, but lately my runs have been frustrating, I literally said "what the hell amy?!" A few times. I would have to stop after a mile and then pause and jump off every so often. So today I again brought it back to basics, I covered my screen, I didn't look at my Fitbit, I started a show, hit 5.5 and ran. And boy did it feel amazing!!!! I ran my whole show- no stopping, no pausing, no wavering!!!! A straight 25:47, 2.36 miles, why did I stop? My show was done and I needed that instant gratification that I did it, and Maycee needed a snack and then I started again. Another episode, another 24 ish min.... this time I had to pause a couple times for a short second, but I felt strong and I beat that 4.5 miles!
Running is such a funny sport, especially for me since I am a big treadmill runner. Lately I was trying to go fast, and honestly it was probably too fast. I was at 6 mph for a while and was able to run a straight mile and then stop the treadmill and breath, then the next miles I would do would be ok. I would have to stop or jump off for a minute before continuing. I even ran at 6.3 and 6.5 for a little while. BUT like I said it didn't feel right. I even PR'd last week and was pissed about it, my husband came home at lunch and always asks about my run. I remember telling him " I pr'd today and it sucks!'. Yeah I was making great time but I was also stopping sometimes as often as each lap. To me that wasn't progress or success.... not for what I want to be. I want to be a strong runner, a distance runner that takes pride in most of her runs. Because lets be honest there are still going to be bad days and bad runs. I want to gain confidence in my runs and for my future outside runs. My cousin messaged me this week and asked if I wanted to run outside. In Wisconsin we will be having crazy "warm" weather- I'm talking 50's !! So I am going to be a big girl and run outside with her. She is amazing and is willing to put up with my up and down strengths and weaknesses with outside running. My goals are to love outside running - and I believe that means slowing down on the treadmill and gaining confidence.
However hard that will be for a numbers person like me.... looking back and seeing a PR of 9:50 min mile 2 weeks ago and today I ran a 10:55 min mile. BUT even though I am seeing a 1 min difference, what you can't see is the pride I have in that extra minute, that pride of a strong confident run. The runners high was on point today (speaking of runners high, I have some ideas floating around my head for a new tattoo). I'm hoping and praying that tomorrows run will be just as amazing and that Saturday when I run outside I will run with the confidence and pride I had today. And if it isn't a great run I will continue to work on my weaknesses and learn from them. Running is therapeutic and I need to get back to that feeling.
Anyway- on that note do any of you have running tattoos?! If you've seen any of my pics you will see I already have a full sleeve but nothing about running. I have ideas floating around and would love insight!
Please leave a comment, I would love to chat!
What changed for you that made you decide to run?